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Over the last 6 months...

Over the last 6 months and again this week with J's re-entry into the work force, we have had some changes in schedule and balance in the house. I mentioned earlier in the week about how hard it has been to have him around 24/7, not only because he gets on my nerves but also because I have had to relinquish a lot of control and power in the house.

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Imagine for years being the only one home running the household and dealing with 99% of issues related to the children. You get used to a certain flow and rhythm. Then all of the sudden the person that you have been silently feeling resentful towards for their extended absence becomes a constant fixture in your daily life. You can't do anything start to finish without being interrupted. You receive more "constructive criticism" about the way you do things than you ever asked for (hell I asked for zero) and you start feeling nagged - in a big way. You try to be understanding that your spouse is feeling displaced but you need the same understanding from them. And they don't get it.

Now that J has gone back to work I admit to feeling a bit - oh I don't know, giddy. I've gotten some of my freedom back (woohoo!!) and the flow is back. No longer do the days go in choppy bits and pieces and things that I get done (i.e. housework, childrearing, etc) stay done and there is no more animosity about it. The one change from before? J is home in the middle of the afternoon instead of after we have had supper. He is a more active part of our day. And that's good. Don't get me wrong. It's definitely an advantage to the kids to see their Dad so much more than they we're before. I am thrilled with that change. But I'm not sure how to handle the change in family dynamic at the adult level.

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Contributing Sources

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Posted in Home Improvement Post Date 11/22/2017